Just Another The Rock Comedy-Action Movie

I didn’t intend to watch this film at all, because I knew it will be poor rip-off from the classic Jumanji starring the incomparable Robin Williams, but I did, because partly i was hoping it will not suck that much.

There’s a level of suckiness that is almost hard to watch at times, delivering the most possible cliche a movie could offer. A kid behind me at some point I overheard said, “It’s not funny” and it really was not funny and it almost reached the point of absolute ridiculousness.

I do not understand the point of making a sequel for this and frankly, no one was asking for it. It was an obvious cash-grab; and one could say you simply cannot compare it to the original but when the movie is advertised with the same title on it, the audience will surely compare so the studio might as well made sure it will be done right.

Not even Jack Black can save the movie from the trainwreck that it is 10 minutes in, in fact the movie is far from being saved when it brought cheap effects, lousy script, and complete lack of originality.

Do not waste your time on Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. And dear god, Sony don’t make another one.

Grade: 2/5 stars

San Andreas Movie Review

  You have seen this before. The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Armageddon and on every Michael Bay film. Chaos everywhere, rubble left and right. Explosions here and there and a tsunami at the end. That is what the “strongest quake in history” can do. Set again in San Francisco, now I’m not sure why this city been suffering so much of late from Hollywood.                         You got it right. San Andreas fault’s is at fault. The entire west coast suffered quakes all throughout the movie. Visual effects are top notch. Something you’ve come to expect from Warner Brothers and co. It’s basically 2012 all over again. The characters miraculously make it out from tight spots for dramatic purposes. Actually everything in this movie is cliche. You’d know what will happen next. There will be this cheesy dialogue then the earth trembles after. Someone kisses then something falls off the sky. It’s quite pathetic to be honest.                                                

   The Rock is the obvious choice for box office purposes, otherwise this movie will become a complete flop. Now, I’m not sure about this but I keep on wondering why Alexandra Daddario’s breasts are all over the place. Pretty sure it’s not just me, but there are moments I felt it’s being shown for a reason. You see her running over there but the costume designer made sure the boobs will be trembling too along with the ground. It’s pointless, mean and unnecessary. San Andreas brings the fault line to shame and we will probably be punished with a real quake because of this. Cheesy, poorly acted but visually stunning, San Andreas offered nothing new. We already know we are all going to die, thank you very much.                             Grade: 2 stars